Before I went to luxury drug rehab, I was addicted to painkillers for a long time.
When I was using, the extremes that I went to get my next high were just that: extremes. Nothing could stop me from finding a way to get what I needed. It sounds twisted but I know that I can use that motivation and determination to stay clean and sober. While it was the meth that contributed to my determination to get my next high, I know my personality and my inner determination also played a role. I can be a stubborn bull when it comes to getting what I want.
I began experimenting with drugs – in my teen years. I tried everything from alcohol to marijuana to acid to cocaine. By my mid-twenties, I discovered oxycontin (oxy) and it quickly became my drug of choice.
When I was growing up my parents had sent me to several different rehabs in California. None of them ever worked for me so I stopped believing that rehabs work. But now I’ve learned that it wasn’t that rehab doesn’t work. It was that I didn’t work the steps. I didn’t do anything my therapists told me to do in terms of going to meetings or getting a sponsor or keeping only positive influences around me in my life. My attitude had become like Charlie Sheen (and a lot of the other Hollywood celebrities too) toward rehab. Today I realize that without taking any of the necessary steps, it is very easy to fall back into your comfortable and delusional world of drug addiction.
I knew I could have never given up drugs on my own. It finally took my husband giving me an ultimatum that he would leave and take away my baby girl forever for me to agree to go to this luxury drug rehab. He tried to explain to me that this rehab was different from the previous rehabs I had gone to several times before. He said they don’t want patients who are going to treat rehab like a revolving door that you keep going back into. He said they use a behavioral health holistic approach for treating their patients as a whole person. I still didn’t believe a word of what he was telling me. But the catalyst for me was when I recognized the very high probability that I would lose my daughter forever if I didn’t go and try this luxury drug rehab place in Florida.
I thank god that my inner determination stepped forth and gave me the strength to get the help I desperately needed. Today I sometimes tremble when I realize that my little girl is only in my life because I finally went and got help, the right help that worked for me. I am eternally grateful to my husband for sticking by me and doing what needed to be done so I can be here for my little girl.